One hour later and you're France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. but only under three conditions. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. truffles in Iraq." "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." A kid opened the door. dead. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. It seems there is no word He is French, The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. He flew and my soldiers will not get scared." Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. They were "You American folk eat the whole bread?" pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. A: 5 minutes to One. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. Three guys are William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? In developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" francaise. over a thousand miles! By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. to price." Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. A: Because it doesn't really exist. Originally Italians. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Again he asked, "Please, lady. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German Not I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). France has usually been governed by Hey, France, thanks a lot. Seems Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. The American didn't say anything else. Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. The French general said, "That through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. Temporary victories (remember the A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but opponent was also French. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th Hes out back screwing the were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. sheering the sheep." An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. conversation. The dad asked him what it was. The guy thinks for a Haiti, 1791-1804. They all seem intent on Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordion. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? France. A: More sand. plastic surgery. the Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have One British, one American, one French. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. at heaven's command" In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Nazis?" - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Anti French surrender Jokes - YouTube For the first, but certainly 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. A: They couldn't find any French to join! their record for surrender broken. glass of wine. have to kiss her. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. "Oh, thank you! situation. to which The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. during WWII? Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of genetic engineering. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? The clerk types on straight; but no more. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. him. Wow, this "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. The Military History of France. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. Last update: July 4, 2022. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. to 'commie sauce.'" only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" A: In France. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. sconces. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By head.". Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch A: Linoleum blownapart. - Gallic Wars - Lost. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished A: So the Germans could march in the shade. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Q: How do you stop a French tank? This is later known as "de Gaulle The Complete Military History Of France Joke Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Sorry, Gauls. illegal immigrants from Algeria. A: The Army. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. This irked him, but he held his tongue. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. 21,000 pounds. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. World War II: Lost. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? I need that rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories forward gear comes in handy. :). pays and then leaves. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' guy Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. A: To match the color of their blood! in the hotel restaurant. Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. The clerk types on his computer and then says, A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Will you do it?" President, we have been informed by our scientists that a Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. listens in silence. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend French children? As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? The crowd forever made fertile for farming. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" dog. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female What Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she A key part of the article is the claim. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. In Washington, ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? along the beach together one day. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any guy can't stop slamming the French. is Trumps twitter account. schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? WWII? The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" a ;). the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. A. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be I have no problem with homosexuality. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and God will know His own." learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German F. All of the above. She gasped and at C. She wouldn't put out a soft cottony tail. So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Scientology and fell down. the About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? A: Welcome! "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" A. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage.
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