If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. - Anonymous. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. 41. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. funny response to are you still alive. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Youre not as bad as everyone says. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 86. Canva. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. . Call the police." 13 Quora User 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. Brilliant! 11. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Im too expensive. Just look what happened there! Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. I'm wondering how you are. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns But, they will grow up into a dog. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. I'm overqualified! They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy Yup, I dont share it. 59. Because youre highly qualified. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Thank you, it made my day. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Happy, and I know it. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts No, I'm Finnish. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle Shane from The L Word? Still with us. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Impressive! I'm happy! There are nosy people everywhere! What a miracle. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). Most of the time, that is not true. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Youre totally on the same page. I am not sure what you mean. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. 10. 82. This one kills me! Was that comment meant to offend me? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. But it can be funny. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Everything is always better on payday right!? I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Because they are already taking their time. 60. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Are you Jamaican? I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. Boom. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. 14. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Do you really care? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow 15. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Your email address will not be published. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Is that a scar on your face? 6. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Spiritually? Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. Youll never be even half the man your mother is. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." 90. Want to equip yourself with more responses? *licks lips*. I died last week, since then. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 15. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . 68. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 7 Tricky Work Situations, and How to Respond to Them Its not my choice, but its still a choice. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Then they throw dirt in your face. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are Mentally? I was actually talking to my friend". I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. What is the most creative reply to, are you still alive? Youll go far someday. No? What is the polite way for asking if someone is still alive? Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Still Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. You just live. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Finnish with this conversation! I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! What's your sign? How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Im always there when I need me. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. *sips wine/tea*. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Stop asking me why Im single! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. How did you get here? Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. This one is bound to get a laugh. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes 7. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? 2. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. 7. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Then you die. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Your secrets are always safe with me. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. More like give me a sign that. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. You speak as if youre not single yourself! I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. What? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. 1. Not sure why you're asking me my age. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Have you met food? This one is funny when you havent said anything. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Dont wake me up yet. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. but it's just so blunt and funny. Read more about Martin here. 12. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". So, you changed your mind? Oh, a thought crossed your mind? I'm glad to know that you're alive.". 63. TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Reply. 1. Click here for additional information. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Congrats, guys! I'm afraid I can't do that. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. No, not really. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. funny response to are you still alive. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Because Jamaican me crazy! As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. 9. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. I was doing great, before you came. "Yeah, you're three years late. Oh, well 8. 6. (Use a sexy tone). Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. (bonus points to you if you sing it). And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." What should I doI like you too much. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. You a cop? 30. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Still, the ghosters ghost on. I like being single. 81. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads I just woke up like that one day. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. 56. How impressive! You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. (This line came from the cartoon show. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 20. 13. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? You might just find one. Chuck Bass? I will leave that up to your imagination. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest Pick your struggle. 5. I love you. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. 15. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us Youre free to go. You just have bad luck at thinking. It's all about confidence. Now you can be! I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 19. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Who told you that? 1. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. 2. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia still alive 810 GIFs. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. So much better than most people. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. 77. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Because Im awkward and ugly. Im single by choice. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 24. 8. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. My bad, its just your mouth. This does not seem right. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! 100. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. 84. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. 1. *Siri activates front camera*. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Funny as phuck. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." Hmmph. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? 99. Does the new one work any better? Im in a relationship with myself. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 4. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. I really thought you already knew. Financially? My lawyer told me not to answer that question. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Not bad. 42. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot You look tired. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". You have an old soul. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them.
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